Thanks for everyone wishing me a happy birthday on facebook.
Thanks for the good friends wishing me so on the phone.
Thanks universe for making me work all day on birthday.
Thanks weather for being terrible, the ten blocks to and from the event I had to cover on H Street (which was, admittedly, great).
Thanks man for breaking my heart about a week before my birthday.
Thanks people who forgot, people who I love and go out of my way for.
Thanks bitchiness and past mistakes for ensuring I have very few friends.
Thanks acute clinical depression, for making me feel so awful.
Thanks Jade for being an awesome anti-depressant.
Thanks womanhood for making me feel even more awful.
Thanks okcupid for being a completely miserable distraction, because all the people I’m attracted to I know are not attracted to me.
Thanks broken promises, for leaving me here, in bed, at 12 in the afternoon on a Friday.
Thanks money, for consistently rearing your ugly head at every given moment, because independence isn’t free.
Thanks, from the bottom of my heart, thanks.