Posts tagged "Do's & Don'ts"
DON’T break up with anyone when they are still in your bed, naked, after some great morning sex or cuddling/spooning all night.
Not speaking of the present, thank goodness, but a cousin of mine called me up and told me this happened to her this morning.
Like, no, just no no no. It’s the surest way to make someone feel shamed, hurt, and intently hateful towards you.
DO buy a cosmo, sit your significant other/fuck buddy/person you’re dating down and laugh at the man advice and sex positions…
…it will always lead to ‘nookie’ (what cosmo calls sex/fucking). Pussies.
Games are stupid. That ‘but the chase is thrilling’ excuse has zero weight with me.
Yes, you want a man/woman working for it. No you don’t want to be dragging this person around until they cut the leash and gtfo.
Hardcore honesty doesn’t mean blurting out every single little thing coming into your mind, either.
When a question is asked you either:
Answer with honesty if you feel comfortable answering or
Decline, saying that you actually feel uncomfortable. No lame ass excuses. Those who have been on a total of 3 different dates can soon decipher what the bullshit is and isn’t.
Seriously, it’s the healthiest thing ever. You’ll never have that nagging feeling on your shoulder every time you think about what you’re not saying, and you can let a relationship grow.
DON’T hesitate in ordering that triple cheeseburger with bacon and all the fixings if you really want it on that first date.
Or steak. Or whatever.
The goal is neither to get the most expensive thing, the most ladylike thing, or the thing that you think will make an ‘impression’.
If you’re on a date with someone, if they gawk at that kind of shit they’re 1) Not right for you and 2) testy as fuck. As the rest of these Do’s and Don’ts, unless otherwise noted, this goes guys, girls, and all sexual orientations.
If you can’t eat what you like around this person, you can’t be able to get truly comfortable or honest with this person. Easy as that.
However, shirk on dessert if it’s a bad date. FER SHURE.
WAHHHH I CAN WEAR A WAR BONNET/WEAR A BINDI/GET A RACIST TATTOO/DRESS UP LIKE A RACIST CARICATURE BECAUSE IT’S MY BODY I CAN DO WHAT I WANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT-
If a person of color tells you that something you’re doing is disrespectful, and you’re more concerned with your freedom to do that thing than you are with the fact that you’re hurting a group of marginalized people, CONGRATULATIONS! You’re a fucking racist.
- me: i am unhappy
- other people: there are people worse off than you
- me: that's not how that works
- ^^^ THIS.
- My school counselor said something along these lines when my father abandoning me, and my very unhealthy sexual habits (i.e. sleeping with people that did not give me any respect or consideration, which I damn well deserve, because I felt very very lonely and unloved) put in this terrible place. I hear this every time I had a depressive episode (twice, but it's been several months, and I'm doing really really fantastic) from friends, coworkers...even though a good amount of them knew I was on medication and diagnosed with clinical depression.
- Mr. Reynolds, please shove a splintery plank of wood dotted with rusty nails up your Bethesda-bourgeoisie-I-don't-care-since-you're-a-minority ass. Get some fucking training.
- (in other news, I'm doing super awesome. I'll write about it in a bit, boos!)
DON’T yell in the most awful tone ‘WELL THIS ISN’T AWKWARD AT ALL’ when your mortal enemy walks in to whatever place you’re at. Especially in the morning.
It’s obvious you are pushing this person out of the place, which you have no right to.
It’s obvious you’re acting like a cunt, which depending on a lot of things, you MIGHT have a right to.
It’s obvious that it is, in fact, FUCKING AWKWARD, so way to go, captain obvious.